i saw the city swallowed by dusty rain clouds & i was at the top of it all. est ce comme quels regards de ciel? my eyes teared up when i stared at the radiant sun, unblinking & my little cousin came up to me with childlike curiosity in his eyes & asked if i was crying. i told him no & he walked away from me. peut-être je pourrais mourir comme ceci. i cut patterns on my arms because i don't know what beauty is like without crimson. i think i took a picture & fell asleep but as i awoke the next morning, the clouds had dispersed & harsh reality had set in. i think i cried, but at least i had a picture of a transient hope in the distant or near future.